Archive for Fear

Being The New Kid or How To Meet People Anywhere

Posted by Phyllis on Sunday, July 11th, 2010 in Connecting | Comments (4)

 

 In case you didn’t know, I moved 3 weeks ago.  My husband was offered a job in another area, and we had a short window of time to accept and move.  We decided to go for it, and packed up and headed from Columbus Ohio to Franklin Tennessee.  The last few weeks have been hectic but the move went well, and we are settling into life here. 

  Since I work from home, meeting new people is going to take some effort.  I’ve been thinking about ways to make that happen.   The good news is that I’ve been in this spot before.  My dad was in the Air Force, so I’ve been the new kid a few times in my life.  Years ago, when I moved to Columbus for a job I only knew 2 people and they were co-workers.  It struck me that meeting new people is a universal experience. 

Put Yourself Out There
You have to be open to meeting others.  Everything you do can help let others know you want to connect.  Simple things like making eye contact and smiling at a meeting or networking event will insure others will be open to chatting.  I like to have a few questions ready to get others talking.  People love to help.  I am interested in lots of things – and could honestly use some suggestions.  A good doctor, optometrist, hair dresser anyone?  I’m also interested in volunteer opportunities, a nice gym or personal trainer, an insurance agent – lots of things would be helpful to me in a new city.

Engage Online
Similar rules apply here too.  Find some people on twitter who are in your new city.  Engage with them, let them know you’re new and looking to connect with like minded people.  Again, asking for help and expressing an interest in who they are works great.  Be sure to acknowledge those who are helpful and use the courtesies you’d always extend to friends and colleagues.  Meetup.com is a great way to find groups on most any subject from books to business to parenting and sports.

Step Up, Join, Volunteer
A perfect way to meet people and get involved is to do something for others.  Finding a way to give back is easy.  A favorite cause, a faith-based organization, a community event or school organization will always welcome your time, energy and support.  Reach out, and ask how you can help. 

Have A Plan
This is optional but if you have a goal to meet 1 new person a week, or 2 new people a month -or whatever works for you – is much more likely to happen.  It can be easy to keep busy with work and your other responsibilities and before you know it a month or two has slipped by.  Let people know you’d like to meet others – ask them to introduce you. 

Manage Expectations
You will probably meet some great people that you like and want to get to know better.  But you will also meet some equally nice people that you just don’t “click” with.  That’s okay.  Everyone may not become a good friend so don’t worry when it doesn’t happen.  Be able to be in the moment and give yourself permission to let friendships or business peers develop where there is a real compatibility.

Get Started
After being here 3 weeks, it’s time to reach out.  I’m starting tomorrow.  What about you?  Do you have any other tips that might make meeting others easier?  How have you handled being the “new kid”?

The Perfect Time to Cold Call or Follow Up Call or Just Say Hi Call

Posted by Phyllis on Saturday, May 1st, 2010 in Connecting, Lessons Learned, Sales Rx | Comments (2)

I met with a client this week to talk sales process.  She loves her work, but like so  many didn’t have a sales system that was working for her.  We mapped out a plan that she was excited to implement and we have some short term, do now steps that she could literally implement right away. 

 The conversation turned to a challenge that affects many.  I call it call avoidance – you know you should do it, but you don’t want to.  So instead, you answer emails, clean your desk, work on your expense report – whatever you can think of to stay busy.  And the calls don’t happen.  Then it’s been so long, you dread it.  And another week goes by and you feel even worse. 

 I’m not talking about making calls to people you don’t know, who don’t know you.  I’m talking about calling clients to check in, or following up on a proposal or setting up an appointment that you were asked to do.  Maybe you just need to call a leader in your industry and make a connection, or call someone to say thanks for the nice mention on thier blog or website. 

  The question she asked was, when is the best time to call to reach people?  I realize there are people who have researched this and can tell you that a certain time, on certain days will yield best results.  The problem is, that may not work for me.  Or you.  Or anyone you are calling. 

Call when it works for you.  Guess what?  If you block out an hour 3 days a week to make calls, do it when you want.  When you can focus and feel good about it.  You’ll enjoy it more and your calls will go better.  I know it sounds like one of those mystical-touchy-feely things.  So what?  The right people will answer or get your message.  Plus, the “wrong” time is still 1000% better than never!

I love talking on the phone.  I love making calls more than answering email.  But that’s me.  I helped my client figure out how to look forward to her phone calls.  The right people will answer, voice mail is okay, and geting this task done will make you feel so much better you’ll accomplish more.

Call Rx:  Pull up your calendar and schedule an hour next week that will be your phone call time.  One hour won’t kill you.  I promise.   Let me know how it goes.
Share your phone tips as well – how do you get in phone call mode?

Are You Reaching For More or Settling for Less?

Posted by Phyllis on Wednesday, March 17th, 2010 in Connecting, Get Going | Comments (1)

 I don’t know about you – but I love the Olympics.  There’s something intriguing about watching some of the more obscure events.  Besides the  jokes about the beer drinking, card playing curling team,  I find myself wondering how someone decides to pursue the sport of Nordic bi-athalon.  I mean, we all see figure skating, and hockey inspiring kids to ask for skating lessons or to join a youth hockey league, but how many kids watch the cross country event and jump up dying to spend hours training for that?

You really have to want it.

Being an Olympic athlete doesn’t just happen.  We all know how dedicated and hard working the athletes are.  Yeah, Sean White has a great time snowboarding. It doesn’t look like hard work or any big sacrifice.  But it is.  Something makes them want to train longer, try harder and compete.  Being the best of the best has always required effort.  Make that extra effort.  Physical abilities and talent aside, if you don’t want it – it’s just not going to happen.

Do you want it?

I work with and talk to business owners every day.  Smart, dedicated and inspiring people.  Women and men who know what they want and understand it is going to take effort to get there.  And still, so often that they are willing to settle for good enough. 

What makes the difference?

It can’t just be desire – there’s seldom a shortage of wanting to be the best.  I think it comes to the idea of belief.  Fortunately, young athletes often don’t know what isn’t possible.    If you’re over 28, (or even younger)  you’ve been told outright, or indirectly that you  aren’t going to be the next Donald Trump, or Oprah.  Heck, you probably aren’t even going to be the top of your class, or the most valued employee where you work.   So being the best, and refusing to settle becomes harder to do.

Decide what you’re willing to do. 

  Like you, I have goals and dreams.  Most days I love the journey and enjoy what I’m doing.  But there are the other days.  You  know the ones.  When the tasks seem overwhelming or the writing won’t happen or you lose a sale.   The day when it all seems so hard and you wonder if you’re in the right place, or doing the right things. 

  I’m writing this list for the time when you need a spark.  When one of those days pops up, or when you feel it creeping in on you,  look at things from a new perspective. 

Take 30 minutes and pick something from this list and then do it. 

Call someone you’ve wanted to meet but haven’t.
Email someone you met at an event or social function.  Just to say hello.
Pick up the phone and call (gasp) someone you’ve always admired and let them know.   You won’t faint and chances are you’ll make their day which is a sure way to get motivated.
Hand write a note to someone to let them know how they’ve inspired you.  Then actually mail it. (That’s the part I have trouble with)

BrainstomThe act of writing down ideas almost always unlocks my stifled creativity.  But here’s the rule.  Pick somthing you want to work on, and don’t stop writing until you have 100 ideas.  Anything and everything is fair game.  Don’t edit, just write what you can think of. Now, go back and pick 2 or 3 and do them.  I know you may be saying “but I don’t have time for that”.  Take the time.  Nothing inspires like new ideas.

Face a fear.
Not all of them at once.  Pick something you’ve told yourself you couldn’t do, then do it.  Nothing will seem (as) overwhelming again.

Finally: Figure Out What You’re Willing To Do
When you’ve emerged energized an motivated, now make a list of what you’d be willing to do to make the big dream happen. A few ideas to get you started:

Attend networking events.                                                                                                                   
Write 100 blog posts.
Ask for someone to invest in you.
Ask for help.
Invest in a class or training.
Learn a new skill.
Develop a support team that will have your back when you need it.
Sell a luxury item to invest in YOU.
Take that next step that you already know you should be doing.

There is no right or wrong, just what you’re willing to do.  Focus and intent become clear.  How badly do you want it?  Are you on the right path, or do you need to make a change? 
What will you do to make your dreams happen? 
What does reaching for the stars look like for you?
Do you have an Olympian size goal?
Are you tired of settling?